Friday, August 28, 2009

From Twitter 08-27-2009

  • 00:59:54: I'm ovulating (or ovulated recently). No wonder I've been in a masturbating frenzy.
  • 01:01:59: @man_onthe_moon Explain it? Well, it smells like hot, salty dough with a faint wet touch of Elmer's. It's delicious-smelling.
  • 11:13:44: I wish our dog would stop doing stupid things for a few days. She just decided to lie down under our car & couldn't get back out.
  • 11:25:55: All of the fuckers whining about govt bureaucracy & health ins. seem to not recognize that for-profit bureaucracy is WAY FUCKING GROSSER.
  • 11:26:47: Seriously, I think that AT&T and Qwest & Blue Cross/Shield should be fucking HUNG. Just off phone w/AT&T. Hate their guts.
  • 11:57:53: Time to pay the bills & stuff. Members can watch me ripping my hair out on the roving cam.
  • 12:19:46: That giant poop log I just dropped is no doubt going to be the most satisfying thing I've produced/accomplished today.
  • 13:47:17: It would be so cool if, when overwhelmed by money problems & bullshit, I became very motivated instead of wanting to curl into a fetal pos.
  • 13:48:57: I'm overdue for a pap smear but the thought of sitting on the phone begging for an appt sooner than 3 months away makes me want to die.
  • 13:57:03: Miracle! Got an appointment to have my cervix & boobs & stuff doctor-inspected in just over two weeks! I'm amazed.
  • 17:43:49: Voyeurs: I'm about to exercise on the Anywhere Cam. Not wearing anything sexy, though, so not really "hot" to watch.
  • 18:32:10: Our dog likes to play this game where she goes IN AND OUT AND IN AND OUT AND IN AND OUT. When we're busy. "OOogh?" In? Out? INOUTIN? YIP!
  • 21:00:10: OMG -- I think I might be super-ovulating; just produced a giant cum-booger during my show. Like super-stretchy egg white snot.
  • 22:24:31: What was I thinking when I made a reservation for THREE nights to shoot at a cabin with no electricity/no running water? Too LONG.
  • 23:26:50: If you believe there are no coincidences, then the universe apparently wants to make SURE I am totally FUCKED.
  • 23:54:53: - Am I trying to channel too many Twin Peaks characters at once? Name 4 or more!
  • 23:57:01: - Seriously folks, this would be my new look if the eye patch didn't give me a headache.

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