My Life Yesterday, in Posts of 140 Characters or Less

• 12:01 Thanks, brain, for that really stimulating dream about water filtration systems. *rolls eyes*. #
• 14:57 Pretty annoyed with all the daddy-themed shopping spam I'm getting for Father's Day. Those emails are so not delivering. #
• 15:50 Contracted another computer virus. My patience is wearing thin. I know, it was already like a sheet of phyllo dough, but yeah. #
• 17:30 Just had a nice conversation with @AmberLily. Hmmmm, is it weird that my fingers smell like pussy after just TALKING on the phone w/her? #
• 18:33 How long do I have to chant, "PEANUT BUTTER ZIG-ZAG! PEANUT BUTTER ZIG-ZAG!!" before @DeliaTS goes & gets us some ice cream? #
• 18:46 Dear highway robbers Chase bank: stick your fucking contests up your ass & just cash our fucking checks. Your holds are UNJUSTIFIABLE. #
• 20:53 Someone please tell my brainz that my left eye socket is not a door through which it should attempt to exit. #
• 22:33 I know I suck for never doing follow friday and all of that. But here's a tip: FOLLOW @StripperTweets #
• 22:37 Blogger is cockblocking the hot blog post I was about to write. Feck it. I need to try to go to sleep at a decent hour tonight. #
• 23:34 The way I'm feeling lately/right now reminds me of a domain I bought but haven't developed yet: WatchMeGrowOld.com #
• 23:45 Laughing at @rollertrain's response to someone looking for "business partners": rollertrain.tumblr.com/post/122408860 #
• 23:53 I ran out of acidophilus pearls and have been eating soy products. As a result, you can hear me farting 24/7 on our spycams. I'm ON FIRE! #
• 00:43 It's so not awesome how I only begin to function halfway-normally at 9 or 10 pm. I'm flubbing up on all of my dreams & ambitions. #

These were chunks of my life yesterday as posted on my twitter page, automatically shipped by LoudTwitter