My Life Yesterday, in Posts of 140 Characters or Less

• 08:32 I think I'm awake too early. Back of my throat tastes like hard green snot, ears plugged up & my lips are chapped. NASTY. #
• 08:43 I have so many very important things to do today, like changing the toilet paper roll and trying to make my first million. #
• 13:35 Did half-assed pussy-shave job. In the middle of doing a cute little photo shoot in every day clothes; just realized some spycams are down. #
• 13:42 Glittery underwear is cute 'n all, but it's not good to have little metal flakes in your folds and vag. Just had to wipe myself off. #
• 13:49 Getting ready to go to the bank then out of town for Delia's laser hair removal treatment. #
• 13:57 I am going to have one unhappy crack once this razor trauma rears its ugly head. And I have a dentist appointment on top of it tomorrow! #
• 20:52 Just got home; going to slip some fresh new pillows into cases and settle into bed for the night. #
• 21:22 Delia's site has almost 3 times as many members as mine. My now almost whiskerless biscuit is itchy. Time for Gossip Girl, etc. #
• 22:54 Goddamned DVR didn't properly record Gossip Girl. Gossip Girl, LOST . . . how will we survive? Going to cry myself to sleep. #

These were chunks of my life yesterday as posted on my twitter page, automatically shipped by LoudTwitter